You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sponge bath it is.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
