Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
