Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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