Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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