Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I can text with my tongue
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
