Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
