Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This baby is an asshole
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
