at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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