dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
