Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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