So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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