is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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