OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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