I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
