I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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