How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
