he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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