My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
