All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
