I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
