we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
