If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
