You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
