Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
