Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
