yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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