Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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