I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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