i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
