I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize