the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
