Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
