Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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