I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
