Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
