Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
