I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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