is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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