He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I wish there were birth control emojis
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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