your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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