Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
