Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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