I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
