I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
