Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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