I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
