you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Are we still banned from the library?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think people are normalizing furries
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
