it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This baby is an asshole
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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