Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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