I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
