did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
