do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
