Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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