Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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