I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
