Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
