yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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