Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
