Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
last night I used snow as a chaser
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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