Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
