im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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