sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
