I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
