no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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