Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
